


Octonuts Traveler: The Ranger's

by InkyDewott502



Category: Octopath Traveler (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Crack, Dark Comedy, Dark Crack, Drugs, Gen, Memes, Out of Character, Pop Culture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2019-12-25 15:51:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18264512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkyDewott502/pseuds/InkyDewott502
Summary: This is no average playthrough of Octopath Traveler, it's one where you and a friend get sent into one being a end up in the world of Osterra. You end up meeting all your favorite characters but something is wrong, they don't seem focused on completing their given paths! It's up to you to get them back on track for the goal you know is reach, now right in the middle of the mess.





	1. Fire Emblem Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> This is a compilation of some random ideas and scenarios I thought up while playing and jokes a friend and I made up while on discord. Everyone is OOC in so way be warned. The Ranger is nonbinary because they are a creation of manifesting two different people into one body and having their mentality. It would feel awkward to give them one gender so I decided to give them "none". I've done some editing so feel to comment.

 

Cyrus and Tressa were confused, very confused. They had just made it to Clearbrook after Primrose killed her bitchass ex pimp with a signature 35PP Mole Dance with a level 8 Drilbur. Olberic went ahead to scout out the town and he said he wanted to find a spot to get some drinks. “Okay, now this is epic, we've found a potential customer! ” marveled Tressa as her merchant senses were tingling. There was a figure obscured underneath a dark green cloak and cape, resting in the grass behind a tree. "I can't tell if they're sleeping or whatnot but they don't look alright, wanna take a look Professor, Primrose you too?"

 

All 3 of the ragtag bag brags kneeled down by the body, Cyrus activated his beam Kirby powers and scanned the figure. “Hmm from these calculations they don't appear dead, in fact they seem to be full of some sort of energy. Let’s try to press Y and see what we can do. "Then Primrose used Bulk Up on the Scholar for extra strength to carry the homeless person  inn. Tressa held the man at the counter at gunpoint with her trusty bow for about 10 seconds before getting a discount. Her reputation had surely suffered since she wanted time to close up shop. 

 

“Okay, let’s make sure they aren’t getting frightened at the idea of me having my way with them. Don’t want Olberic to throw me in jail again, it’s not my fault those villagers were sexy.” Prim whined as they placed the useless unnamed urchin onto Tressa and Cyrus’ bed. Primrose had lost the privilege to share a bed with anyone after the Lance incident with Tressa and Olberic. Well it had nothing to do with lances, except the fact the they wish they stabbed themselves until passed out from blood loss to forget it. Unless there were no other options but usually she just slept on the extra gear if everyone else was sharing a bed.

 

The Scholar removed the fabric concealing the face of sleeping beauty. It was a cute black haired child with tan skin. "Oh look, the ends of their hair are blue, that's an interesting color for someone's hair, hold a sec is this person a sister or a mister?” Pointed out Tressa before she had to fight back the roused Sunland dancer. "It's awfully hard to tell and you'd have to give a good reason to go checking for myself."

Cyrus scratched his head for a while before looking down at Primrose, she had a huge grin on her face, crossing her legs in front of Tressa as she hugged her from behind. “Why would you need to know that? Hi,I'm Chris Hansen. How about you take a seat?" He joked as there was a giggle behind him. The three of them turned around to see Olberic and some blondish brown haired man leaning on his shoulder. Prim was trying to figure out how the Hell those two guys entered the room without a key, and so quietly. Cyrus and Tressa were wondering about the high pitched giggle and if they were high.

“Tressa, why don't you ask whoever it is you all managed to bring up to the inn this time?” The middle-aged Warrior questioned, as the elephant in the room stirred. Primrose cocked her head towards the highly drunk man becoming aware of his surroundings. He got off of Olberic’s shoulder, trying to figure out who was around him.

Cyrus stared at the two new people and back at the clearly awake green cloaked person.”Erm, ahem good afternoon, I promise this isn't what it looks like! My name is Professor Albright or Cyrus Albright.” He gestured in a panic to Tressa while Olberic was scolding everyone else loudly as a Big Daddy, for everyone doing something wrong.

Happy to be the light in the stranger's gaze, the Merchant put her right hand on their shoulder. Then she held out the other hand like she was showing them her most sought out merchandise. But she went on autopilot and had a vice grip of doom on their shoulder.

“My name is Tressa, this horny chick is Primrose and apparently our Dad Olberic has a new boyfriend.” Cyrus figured out how to pry off the Merchant’s hand from the stranger’s by stepping on her boot like she was a trash can, which in turn opened her mouth . “Ow my fucking foot , I dropped my hot pocket you damn little-”

“Shut up with this useless banter! No, I don't have a boyfriend Tressa, this man's name is Alfyn. I found him pissed drunk staggering outside the bar, mumbling about tripping on acid from a snake. I promise I’m not dating him even if he is kinda cute.” Olberic shot back, crossing his arms and blushing before adding “Baka!” _I'm glad Alfyn is too drunk to understand any of this, won't want him to think I'm his new lover or what not._

Primrose smirked threateningly and cracked all 57 of her Knuckles the Echidna. "Sure you aren't Olberic , sure you aren't." She broke past Cyrus and Tressa, towering over the perplexed androgynous looking teen. “Well now you know quite a bit of thing about us, so tell me; top or bottom?” The kid’s jaw dropped and their gold eyes widened into green orbs, maybe to summon Hector then they went back to normal, whatever that even is at this point.

The green-clad stranger took in a deep breath but then it accelerated like a Mario Kart bike. “T-top I guess, maybe bottom for the right person. Hold up this isn’t real, I’m not actually meeting my units. Cyrus, since you have to lowest strength stat, slap me,” they said confidently. Everyone else in the room didn't know what the hell a stat was so they just stared at each other.

Cyrus used Leer at Tressa until she looked back at him. She whispered something to him before going back to counting extra leaves that were found in a collect bag nearby. Then the scholar frowned before stroking his hands and slapping the ever-loving 5 HP from the stranger as requested. “Was that what you wanted to happen, friend?”

“Yes, Thanks for that. Cyrus, Tressa and everyone I want all of you to know that I love you all so much. I can't believe that-” Started the teen causing Primrose to blush and start panting before getting interrupted.

Tressa used Anchor shot and Toppled the unfamiliar person off the bed and pointed at them. ”Who are you, what's your name?” They were broken by Cyrus's slap, so it wasn't hard.

“Yea, you can't just say you love everyone, you just met us! What job do you even have, for us traveling workers need someone with some sort of skills fella!” Piped up Alfyn, now slightly more sober than before. Alcohol doesn't work like it normally should, sorry.

Then he giggled as Prim leaped onto the kid, knife drawn. No reason in particular, probably just is upset they can't bang. “Haaa, I doubt you can find my weakness policy! Speak up or face my wrath!” 

Both of them slammed into the table leg which knocked away the Dancer's weapon and forced the victim to act quick. “Woah, calm down Primrose, guys I thought you were better than this! My name is Acrayran, and I'm a…. I'm a, uhhhhh Ranger, yeah a Ranger!” the green wearing stranger announced. The dancer pushed back on Acrayran's hands with the rage of Primal Groudon.

Not ready for this Acrayran was surprised at Primrose's force and hesitated in striking back at the woman. _Wait a minute, she hit me first, she had a it coming!_ Then the Dancer used Astra to deal a flurry of weak punches on her target, who had a built in counter. "Haa, this ends here!" They shouted in retaliation, unleashing their new power. 

 

Prim growled in fury as she was launched from the Ranger's Special Move dubbed; Laws of the Jungle . The Dancer didn't have any diamond armor on so she felt like she died. Finally, after giving in she face planted onto the floor with a Classic “My dick fell off!” The others simply ignored her empty moment and went back to investigating the whole ordeal with the snake and . 

 

Acrayran crossed their arms in frustration, waiting for Alfyn to finish his story time. "I do have powers as a Ranger or well skills as one. I know the laws and code this world has in store ,and can inform you of road blocks or other obstacles in your path. Plus I have a bit of talent with a sword and know how to pray for guidance from my Lord with this staff." Cyrus and Olberic turned their heads at this new information.

"I suggest we allow your guidance in due time if you can prove it worthy, we need no extra fighting force right now, perhaps if absolutely necessary young traveler. " Presented the Scholar his eyes full of hope before he frowned at Tressa and Alfyn as they were whispering to themselves. 

 

On the other hand the Warrior felt like there needed to be a boundary set up with the new party member before they became all cocky. "Until you can pull your own weight as well I suggest you try not to get in our way lest you end up biting more than you can chew." Then he patted his Ranger on the head, ruffling their hair. "I'm sure you'll be fine , just don't rush off trying to be someone you aren't."

 

The teen allowed it as they looked over their belongings with relief. _At least I have some decent gear not just trash._ Then they checked the weapons on their hip and back. "Ugh I don't come with a super awesome weapon, oh well this isn't Fire Emblem, I'm not the main character, wait..." Acrayran made a paradox and hurt their head.

 

 

* * *

  
Primrose started to unpack her bag, folding away her extra clothes and items while Alfyn and Tressa were giggling about something with a pile of herbs and plants next to some matches and paper. “Aw yeah, it's Four Twenty Concoct it time baby!” Then they got blazed the fuck up and starting scheming some little plan involving the new team mate.

Olberic was going on a rant about whatever snake the gang needs to jack off for Venom to Cyrus so Acrayran had their guard down. "Big mistake!" Shouted the Merchant suddenly as she started tickling the Ranger while her partner in crime kept the newcomer from escaping. "Aw, shoot this came up empty bud!" Tressa complained

In this bit of excitement the teen was accidentally patted down for any items. "Hey Watch the hands, trust me I don't have  **anything** worth using on me guys! If you want something then you've gotta ask for it!" Acrayran shoved away the druggies. The two of them complained but were threatened with the Ranger's Blade.  

The dial-up sound was playing through the speaker in Primrose's head from losing her chance. Olberic used Karate Chop on both of the two idiots and stamp on the ground. “Ok, I know Omaira are high on something but can you not be retarded, doing shit like this!? Do you want to sleep outside or something, as Acrayran did? Cause if you make me upset my blade will not bend! !”

Cyrus and Prim laughed before the scholar placed his hand on the dancer's shoulder. ”You know what that means don't you?” He asked gently.

“That I can get the rights having this little Ranger? Cause if so, I want to see if the fuss those two made was reasonable.”

“No, someone has to sleep on the couch tonight, what gave you the slight idea that's what I was alluding to !?”

 

* * *

 


	2. Xenoblade Chronicles 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love Big Daddy Olberic? Well H'annit and Therion sure aren't thrilled to share him with Ophilia, but they really hate sharing him with the useless Ranger Acrayran even more.

~ 2 terrible troublesome weeks later~

Outside of Stonegard, Olberic was beating the shit of Acrayran and everyone else. No one was safe from his makeshift sword getting shoved up their ass. Well not like an enema but they were sore as hell. “What was that Acrayran? Didn’t you say you were a Ranger, why can’t you hold your own in battle?” asked the Warrior before blocking a strike from H’annit’s Armads replica.

“Yeah well, I’m a lover not a fighter as a Ranger. I guide you guys to your destination, not fighting the scary monsters.” The Ranger begs while Therion cha cha real smooths out of the way of Ophelia's pity attempt at a staff swing. “She probably never played on any sort of softball team, how is H'annit so good!?”

Olberic blew into his whistle for a time out, just like Dukes sorry ass despite winning. He moved his arms with a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tubeman to get his team to stop. “Okay good work guys, Therion you can actually try to hit us with actual attacks. H’annit stop cheating with those “summons”, whatever the hell those are. “ The big Daddy explained while patting Acrayran and Ophilia on the heads.

This made his other children jealous as fuck, because this was H’annit’s chapter 2 not these useless saps. Therion smiled in hidden as Olberic was teaching the Ranger how to use Swords Dance with the Monado. And by Swords Dance he meant “Go crazy, Aaahhh! Go stupid, AAAHHH! Go crazy!” It wasn't going well for Acrayran, they were gaining all the aggro.

After both of them stopped to rest the Warrior started walking over to Ophilia as she was sewing a core cyrstal into her staff to increase it’s shitty accuracy.

H’annit tapped on the cleric’s shoulder and teased “Looketh, I ken Olberic Olberic likes thou.” The cleric’s face went red and she just went silent.

“What?” asked the mentioned older man, holding his arm that was bruised up pretty bad. “I want to heal up everyone at the inn then set out to find out more clues about your Master Z’annta. Don’t you wish to do the same?” Being questioned the Hunter shifted the blame to Acrayran for shits and giggles.

That poor kid was in worst shape, hair whack, clothes whack, the way they never smiled whack, their stance whack so they were a sitting duck. “Therion, thou sayeth that young Acrayran never partakes in hunting of enemies?”

The Thief held back his laugh as Ophilia was not surprised to the bluff. “Yeah, they’ll stay being weak and scared all the time after we do all the dirty work.” The man stabbed, knowing the Ranger was merciless to his words. “Acrayran would rather let our hardworking and selfless Cleric get battered and hurt along with us, only taking responsibility when we all faint like that one time at bandcamp.”

  
Their little Ranger picked up their own makeshift sword and staff with a pout. “I’ll guess I’ll be the little red hen, er chicken in this case.” They bowed to H’annit and then she nerfed them over the head with her bow. “Owww, take me to the forest with you but may I have one question you ass?” Acrayran really felt like shit for not joining their team in level grinding.

“Sureth, ask away thee pupil, just remember thou have to steel thine body, lest you end up piddling thine trousers.” Acrayran had the Red and Blue anime Pikachu shocked face and bit back.

Well more like sucker punched back.”Why the hell do you hate me so much!? I've done everything I can to help you and you treat me like crap despite it working out everytime!”

H'annit put the much younger traveler into a snare and tripped them. “Simply cause fucketh thou, thou hast stolen Olberic!” Even more pissed off Acrayran took her down, by the shoulder and held onto to her like Linde to a helpless townsperson.

Therion was plenty frustrated that his Daddy wouldn't give him any extra attention so he decided it would be best to set the young Ranger on fire with Charizard after using armor corrosive on them. “Burn baby burn, I said burn baby burn!” He was cosplaying as Red after all.

Anyone could these siblings weren't getting along and Ophilia had to break them up with an icepick, well an Icewind.”Alright, Alright since you are a such a knowledgeable and mystic Ranger from another world, lead us to the beast of the forest. I’d wish to see how you handle the stress”

Now the 5 five guys started their trip to sell as many burgers and fries to the community, but they needed substitution meat. “Aaaahhh holy shit, how do I fight this fucking thing!?” Screamed Acrayran as the level 20 monster of the week slammed into Olberic and everyone else with a rampage.

The Big, Chunky, Plumpy, round with something something of a Man had used Incite, Stout Wall and Defend to minimize the damage he was taking. “Harrgh, I can't take this Gaiden boy by myself!” In response Acrayran used a mend staff on the Jaegan Unit of Octopath. Luckily it had 20 more uses on it, just like Olberic's dick.

Ophilia was simply off in the corner with the bags of equipment on her lap in deep concentration. When her fellow O traveler passed a glance she hit behind her staff, she was guilt tripping hard as balls. Not as hard as Walmart golf balls but softer than their basketballs. Of course none could compare to the size of absolute unit which is Daddy Big O.

H'annit used Take Aim a round earlier so when she activated her Tenta missile special at full boost that shit was going to make Hiroshima look like a joke. “Thou, just hast to go Super Saiyan, liken Therion, Ranger!” The Thief finished the ratkin furry loser with a SP STEEEEAAALUUUU! All the other kids with the pumped up kicks 1 - better run better faster than my bullet 0.

About 15 long ass minutes later the Huntress found her prey. “It is a killer single buck what could go wrong?” Pondered Therion, pointing his thumb toward Acrayran. “Think you can handle it, ‘there'll be a red chest to the left and then a book for us to write out information in’ wonderful Ranger.”

“If you ever need me I'll be back here practicing reading Scholar tomes” mentioned The Cleric as H’annit instigated the Monster into a Unique Battle. There was a look of stress and shame on Ophilia’s face as she knew her team relied on her skills but was acting like total cunts to their Ranger in basically hazing. As they got their asses handed to them it unlocked some sort of boredom in the young woman.

Yeah it was bad kind, the ‘We gotta go down to electric avenue and then we take it higher!’ type of boredom. Olberic had done the same as before but this deer was acting like Xerneas instead of Sawsbuck which which meant alot of fuckery with Geomancy ploy. It unleashed some big dick energy and the whole team fell besides him. Well and the useless Acrayran cause they somehow managed to dodge.

The Warrior knew that demon was gonna cream his ass so he looked back for some moral support and got artistically furious . “RRRRRAAA, I’m tired of these games! You should be beating VILLAINS not your Meat! Yare Yare Daze, Ophilia get up fill in this stop for Acrayran! They say we'll have another chance at this battle!” This mentioned blonde watched as her teammates were destroyed with something like the power of the Aegis, she might have been reading but she never did anything.

The Ranger heard the voice of someone whispering “Yeah, she must have some kind of Guilt kink when it comes to older men having hope in her”. Maybe, the Family Feud survey in the sky says X. Acrayran was seeing and hearing some weird ass crap when they fainted. And that was a lot while they were in Gormott. “Cocaine is one hell of a drug.”

Ophilia in the meantime was messed up. Her face was burning with the intensity of any Fire element Blade and shook, this man really had her life like that. It really be like that sometimes, H’annit’s and Therion’s negative peer pressure ruining their slim chance of victory.

“What the heck does that even mean, beating your meat? Ahh, guess I’ll die then.” The team respawned back at the savepoint and Acrayran took one look at Ophilia then punched her in the face full cowl style. “What was that for? I didn’t say or do anything to you!” she cried after only taking like 15 damage.

The Ranger scoffed like some shounen protagonist's jerkass rival and crossed their arms. “See how weak that shit was? Do 1000 Percent more or I’ll never…. I’ll tell you what happens in your path or anyone else's. And I know how much you are a sucker for things from my world, you’re my bit-.” That was the last bit of ballsy comments coming from the teen before H’annit knocked them unconscious with one of her Pokemon. It was an illegal shiny level 69 Mew with all illegal moves.

“Thee apologizen about thine cadet, thou are fine Ophilia? Yea, thou arth hardy plenty.” The Huntress took off her bags and placed them in Acrayran’s lap before moonwalking into the boss. “Was it so difficult to have the hunt begineth, Thine was getting bored too Linde?” But Linde didn’t respond, she never does.

 


	3. Persona 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acrayran has a bit of reflection with Olberic then gets kicked out of the inn.They leave the town of Stonegard and end up running into the other 4 travelers. Hyjinx ensue and everyone tries to solve some issues.

It might have been 3 AM but that didn’t matter to Olberic. For the benefit of his jealous as hell kids he had to send Acrayran away. “Thanks for all the help, we'll be waiting for you in Wellspring in about a Fortnite or two. Then we'll accept your guidance again, you need to hang around more positive folk child.” Then Epic Games shot out a window in a room next to theirs.

It was Daddy Olberic's favorite son’s window. He reacted by screaming “I aM nOt WeAk!, I Am NoT WEAK!!” Thank the 12 no other groups or people were staying at this inn or there would have been a shouting match bound to happen. Therion had turned into Infinite when he had to shit apparently.

The Ranger almost had a Heart Attack when Therion slammed open the girls door next. Then he broke down Acrayran’s and Olberic’s door. “Here’s Johnny! Which one of you took a shite and didn’t flush the toliet? Disgusting!” The Thief closed the door, but there was a hole in the frame from his sword.

“Uhh, okay I’ll make my way over to Boulderfall and find those bitches. Cyrus won’t be able to keep them calm enough to finish up whatever fucked up shit they get into. Maybe Primrose will act normal, stop-” Began the Ranger before an inn staffer stood in front of them. “Umm can I help you ma'am? Did we do something wrong?”

The staffer pointed to the sword slash into the door. Then she gasped at the sight of the Iron sword made of Minecraft blocks on Acrayran’s waist and couldn’t see Olberic’s sword only his lance underneath his bed. “ Get the hell out of this inn, you’ve healed up quite nicely. Be out in 30 minutes or I’ll call armed guards, damn troublemakers.”

Then she walked out the Nether Portal after doing moves like jagger. “I think our reputation has suffered, time to go.” Olberic was Uber depressed, his Uber charged him like 30 dollars earlier. “Stonegard wants us to find another place to set up camp, Guess we’ll be out to the north to the Flatlands and Frostlands, we have business there.”

On her way back to the front desk the innkeeper barged in on H’annit and her poor little Cleric. She was having her do Nestle Crunches till she had unlocked the ability to evolve, yeah it wasn’t going to happen. “This is not what it looketh like, she hath forcen mine punishment upon herself.” The older woman pleaded panic spreading on her face.

The inn woman laughed before she told the two travelers to GTFO. The she did the same to Therion even though he was blowing up the chamberpot. She had to threaten him through the door.

By 3:40 AM all 4 of the CuartoPath Travelers had gotten the heck outta dodge and outta town from Stonegard. Acrayran left them to themselves. Alone the Ranger had their items and gear all ready and decided to check their stats. "Now how would I press +, just by moving my hand? Guide Danggit, Tvtropes!"

There was a low hanging bar which had the following on it. “Level 17 Path skill Convince Level 17 HP 250 Physical Attack 2 Elemental Attack 1 Physical Defense 50 Elemental Defense 40 Critical 45 Accuracy 100 Speed Aversion 200 , wait what!”

No wonder I could never do good damage do any of our any foes, but I can punch, kick and smack my own friends. After about 2 hours of walking in the Highlands towards the west Sunland Acrayran heard some noise, and hid in the brush hoping to not get ripped apart by some wild beast. Instead the Ranger spotted Tressa running away from Cyrus and Alfyn, Prim not far behind. _The hell are they doing over here near Stonegard? I’m gonna punch the shit outta them, those fuckers!_

“Aiyaahh! Just let me go in PEACE! Aw ,finally can't a girl take little - wooaah!!!” screamed the blue wearing brunette as slamed into the very bush the Ranger was hiding in. She toppled over Acrayran completely, falling face first onto the grass as she was taller. “Ooh, that kinda hurt, can’t believe I managed to trip over a stupid ass bush.” The younger teens knees holding the elders away from their body. Well, more like pressing directly into Tressa but still this kept her away.

Despite the bramble blast in her way Tressa had held Acrayran down with the weight of her strangely buffer arms , trying to get off the ground with plenty branches and leaves to cover Ranger's tan face. _Why can’t I just meet up with these shits normally? Plus I’m getting ignored, let’s see how long it takes for them to notice me._

Like 2D Sonic Primrose skidded to a halt behind and Alf was chugging the last of something from a green bottle. The men followed behind her, moving the ferns from their view. Well the Scholar burnt them away and then froze the growing blaze. 

“With Warrior as your side job you now behave like you have drank 5 Red Bulls Tressa. Well you did acquire some new skills, it seems they have some serious side effects.” Cyrus pondered aloud before he decided to study his surroundings. Nothing special.

Meanwhile Alfyn put away his ale and smiled at Tressa, noticing her in deep concentration, like she was holding something that was on verge of breaking and then he picked the girl up by the waist. She made the confused Tom face and then tried to escape.

“Woah, hey listen, ever since ya became a Warrior you’ve been acting mighty sus, and I’m the one who's been drinking! Now I need to find some spearmint and I'd like you to help me Tress.” He giggled as Cyrus pulled out a folding table and then a tin box. None of them had noticed Acrayran, who was fuming with steam like Thomas the Tank Engine.

The Merchant girl broke free of the older man’s grasp and then crossed her arms and directly gazed at the green clad figure laying on the grass. “Aw shit, is that who I think it is? Bah, I’m just fucking blazed after using Abide one too many times.” Alfyn was digging in the dirt like a little Growlithe, looking for a fire stone so he couldn't see what she going on about. He was becoming intrepid with Merchant as a sidejob.

“Bah, nevermind.You fools wouldn’t understand. It’s Brands power, its hrrg its overflowing!” she shouted as her face dropped into Panic! At the Disco. Then she dropped to her knees holding her left arm in her right as it were aching or broken. “My new saber arm, the power, it’s surreal!”

Prim and Cyrus turned around, both of them playing dominoes on top of a camping table. Cyrus was the first to speak “Is your power level back to normal Tressa or is it over 900?”

The mentioned young woman checked at her Smash Meter and then glanced back up.“ Yep, it's a bit thin at the side, small and har-”

Still slightly drunk Alfyn interrupted “ Woah, hold the phone when did you grow a pair? And, if you didn't then damn, like call an Apothecary, oh wait I'm here.” this caused Cyrus and Primrose to almost knock down their table in laughter while Tressa was left stammering and red.

Her gloves reached over to her new sword belt and gripped at the blade’s handle, blue energy radiating from her body. “Hardly full, I was going to finish my sentence you ass.” She growled lowly so almost no one could hear her. But of course the frustrated Ranger could, the Ranger remembers all.

“Anyway you were mentioning Brand, Brand who, what type of brand, Nike or Adidas? I heard big shoes mean an equally big prize, wanna let me find out if that's true?” The Apothecary teased and Cyrus rapped him on the shoulder with one of his E Rank Fire tomes, it had 27 uses left.

Before the Merchant could speak up Alfyn continued with another giggle“Well anyway shucks partner, why are ya overflowing with ‘power’ now? Modern problems require modern solutions don't they?” _Alright that’s quite enough, I don’t need to listen to two perverts ramble on any further!_

Then it hit them, well the angry Ranger did, with some form of sword sweep, which just tickled everyone’s ankles . “Oh Sealtigce, look who we found, Acrayran the little Ranger.” The dancer smiled grabbing their hand and lifting them up. “I've been wondering where you were, out there with Sir Olberic and his friends. How was it?”

But that wasn't a normal smile it was a lust filled one and the dancer was set getting those dark vibes. That set Acrayran's danger noodle off and they went into vanguard shift. “It was surprisingly problematic but I did learn a couple new tricks from the others, but my attacks are so fucking weak.” The dancer had let the teen ramble for the moment, slowly advancing.

She wrapped her arms around the Ranger’s torso and pressed her pointy chin into their hair. “Ha, gotcha bitch! Thought you were safe the fact the I wanna rock with you-” The back of Cyrus’ Staff slammed into Primrose’s head and she stopped only after Alfyn and Tressa pulled her off the kid. The Scholar sighed and crossed his arms, as he had just found all the domino tiles that fell into the pebble ground. Acrayran pulled out their sword and pointed the Excalibur at the molester.

Alfyn was upset as a bee without flowers and had to hold back Acrayran from slicing up the dancer. “Y’all should try to not to tangle, we understand you want us to get somewhere right partner? Don’t let Prim get a chance to unleash her dagger of love on your body, it’ll just end up hurting the both of you.”

“What is that even supposed to mean, I rarely understand the shit that comes out of your mouth sometimes, what are you Cyrus?” The Ranger complained as the Scholar was scolding Primrose again.

“Why are you so persistent in mentioning topics that disturb the other party members? We certainly don’t wish to know how much you wanted to fuck Acrayran or any other person who you find cute.”

“But I’ve never said-”

“You just did, you are a sexual maniac. I know you’ve been through quite a bit of suffering and abuse but that is not an excuse. There is absolutely no excuse for sexual harassment, not one.”

“Alfyn was totally flirting and teasing Tressa earlier, why aren't you upset at him like you are at me, are you sexist?”

Cyrus pointed to the still buzzed Druggist, he was having a tug of war against Tressa, she was trying to keep him for eating some of the Triforce, that were supposed to be sold to some green wearing blonde elf.

“Are you serious, this man is ‘piss your pants’ drunk on ale! He’s had approximately 8 full bottles of the hardest stuff the bartender had in Gold Shore after that clash with Vanessa. Honestly-”

After about 2 minutes of the Professor’s rant The Ranger mentally slapped themselves. “Okay settle down everyone, what places have we been to guys, cause Cyrus, Tressa you have something important to do in Quarrycrest, it’s very critical.” They asked like a 3rd grade teacher to her class after the weekend.

Primrose put her hand underneath her chin like Awakening Anna and gazed up at the morning sky, a blush crept up her face. “Teehee, we did travel to Stillsnow where I meet up with a…. Person who I needed to end with my fury. Then at the Bar I met some darling cutie and just had to-” Tressa elbowed her in the ribs and grabbed the collar of her clothes, if there was even one.

Alfyn finally seemed like he was sober then he clapped his hands. “You know what they say.” Which got everyone's attention besides the Ranger who was busy eating.

“Finders keepers, losers shut the fuck .” the man suddenly demanded and his party looked him like he was still high. “ Our Ranger has found us and we are the losers let’s go. We need to head to the Clifflands, right Acrayran?”

The teen almost choked on their brick flavored poptart. Holy shit, We're finally getting somewhere with these people! Tressa, Cyrus and Prim dusted themselves off and nearly went into maximum overdrive. The 5 of them were running as fast as fuck boooiiii and had way too much fun exploring through the mountains and the sand, like a group of huskies with Acrayran in the back trying to keep up.

“Damn right, you don’t gotta like it cause the hood gone’ love, you don’t like cause the hood gone love it, watching young-” The now happy Ranger was chanting before their travelers suddenly stopped. “Woah, what is it guys, you need to stop for a break?” _Why is there Boss Music playing? Where is it coming from!?_

Standing like JJBA characters menacingly right before them was a large group Knights Ardante and they looked pissed. “The five of you are requested at once, if you resist, well bitch I hope the fuck you would, you’ll be a dead son of a bitch I’ll tell you that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I changed how the crack would be handled I hope y'all like it.


	4. Pokemon Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah the Knights Ardante show up and take the gang somewhere, but on the way they misbehave. But when have they not misbehaved?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was is kinda long and the crack isn't evenly distributed. I'll try to keep it short and sweet next time.

Acrayran was definitely stressed  the hell out. Meeting with the Knights Ardante wasn't in the game, they were never supposed to do this with Cyrus,Tressa, Alfyn and Primrose in the party. Not even with the other four, well besides the one from S’warki in the beginning, but there was only one of them.

 

The others seemed to not care, as the soldiers weren't actively harming them, not yet anyway. “If I may, where are you all taking us? We have a western town that we were requested to visit.” Cyrus tried ask one that looked like the Male version of Ophilia with a pitiful 0% chance of Scrutinize. It failed and the Knight he asked gave the Scholar the Jazz music stops look.

 

“Why should I tell the likes of you? You Aelfric-damn, oh heck, I mean you Aelfric-darn suspects always ask way too many questions, shut up.” the man panicked, hoping that would keep the Scholar from pressing any further. _I don’t even know why we’re doing this buddy, I just follow orders._ It worked, as the man he bared his fangs at is a fucking coward at times.

 

Tressa was walking next to another one of the soldiers and was eyeing a carving knife, with a blue handle on his belt. Naturally she tried to purchase it “Say, good sir, how many leaves are you willing to ask for in place of that short blade-”

 

He poked her in the middle of her chest, pushing her away and hid his precious knife. “ You're cute but not cute enough for peddling my belongings pipsqueak, now piss off.” The Merchant shrunk down afraid of the wrath she might receive like a dog with a tail between their legs. Then again she's everyone's G-Dog as a Dodge Tank, all bite no bark.

 

This Knight Ardante, now turned his head away, flashing his blades handle at Primrose. “She didn't notice, bum bum bah dum, buuur.” He whispered like he was on the Price is Right. But he wasn't, fucking retard.

 

After awhile they started to feel the wind blow with the Platformer World 2 type of sand, everyone was one edge. Acrayran could feel the tension in their parties steps despite them being plenty far behind.  They were next to a commander who started whistling Daft Punk. Quickly on cue following his lead they all copied him, whistling Get Lucky together.

 

The Ranger stepped forward and tapped the lead on his armored shoulder. “Excuse me sir, may I walk by your side? I’m slightly terrified of your men and I know it’s silly but you remind me of my father.”  The man nodded his head, the tune coming out of his mouth. _T_

 

He stopped abruptly with a “You should call me Francis, Sir Francis child.” The man extend his left hand and pulled the golden eyed Ranger in. “And sure, but don’t you wish to comfort your own team? You are their young charismatic leader of sorts, you either are a fookin’ idiot or have bollocks full of brass to hang around these types of people at your age.” The leader was being confusing as hell, not explaining things.

 

The terrain was becoming less rugged and more sandy, and then the Ranger realized what was said. “ Huh, I’m sorry, what? I don’t see how my friends could possibly be really such bad company or in way shape or form dangerous.” the teen lied through an innocent facade. _I can’t tell this guy the truth about these crazy ass guys, or our new body._

 

Meanwhile Cyrus looked at Alfyn and then pointed to Acrayran. The younger man shook his head as he threw a rock at their head. The Ranger was in the middle of thinking of something to say and walked over to the Apothecary. “Hey, what is it you little shit? I’m trying to convince this man to not have us slashed to pieces.”

 

Before the country boy could speak the 2 frustrated rookie Knights Ardante next to them used the butt of their spears to poke the two travelers as they started to see seabirds. “If you all are plotting something we swear to A-aelfric, you’ll pay, you fiends to the motherland!” said one of the only female knights in the group only disnitable by her tiny crest plate and voice crack, she blushed and crossed her arms. The other 2 female Knight Ardante, were far from MEGA MILK but still filled up those breast plates.

 

This caused Alf and his Ranger to giggle, Acrayran make a clock motion with their hand and the Apothecary didn’t understand. _I meant wait and see buddy, don’t test your low level luck._ “Oh no tidd-, no ma'am nothing at all, I’ll just go back up front with Sir Francis…”

 

Acrayran held back a torrent of laughter, waving their hand to Primrose as they walked “Don't worry they'll grow in some day, see ya! Anyway-”  

 

 _Guess it's my turn to shine, not even going to lie, I'm not sure which one I should go for._ Everyone's favorite Dancer almost tripped on a rock wedged in the path to take her clue and started the cupid shuffle with a slide to left, slide to the right, take it back now y’all. She did five hops this time and froze in front of one taller Knights, not the one that flashed her the handle earlier but oh well.

 

She began to stride towards his right side, while using Peacock Strut on herself “Wow, I see all you handsome and stoic Knights have such strong, blunt personalities. I was wondering if you would like to spend some time with me, so I could sharpen them out?”  The black haired Knight tapped his lance on the pebble littered floor, baby palm trees close by everyone’s feet.

 

“Ahem, no, I will not engage such mindless behavior.” He cleared his throat, ignoring Primrose's request forcing her to try to Allure to knight next to him. It was a silent uptight looking young woman. She also had Black hair and was equally thrilling to try and seduce, most likely related to the one who got away.

 

Cyrus have Prim that serious look that Morag gave Rex in chapter 7 and shook his head. So the retard Tressa who mouthed the words “ _Do it you won't, no balls.”_  to Prim; seeing this Alfyn like the smartass he is mouthed back too.

 

In between them the Knights Ardante grew sceptical, even though none of the travelers spoke a word. “Remember, we can't answer any more of your none yes or no questions!” Growled the Blonde guy that was first asked a question by the nosy Scholar, he must have had it with the annoying ass travelers.

 

Alfyn looked back at the Merchant “ _No duh, what are ya, stupid? She ain’t  like you Tress.”_ The Apothecary smiled as the group started heading towards a Road Less Taken. In the new shade of palm trees Cyrus and the mentioned woman gave him confused stares.

 

“ _The fuck is that supposed to mean you dipshit?  If you say stuff like that they'll assume I'm a little boy, again Befelgan- dammit!”_ she barely whispered back, praying the Soldiers couldn't hear her. ‘Oh my God they can’t, they all have airpods in!’

 

Primrose glanced at the the Merchant and then back at the Attractive Female Knight. She crept up to the taller women's back, tracing her own fingertips on her lance and chest plate. “How ya doing baby? You don't have to be upset around me, I think I can't help myself.” The dancer's sultry voice aroused anger and other emotions within the armed guards, them being not familiar with her bold actions. 

 

This caused the Ardante to stop in her tracks, face red as Mario's Hat. Prim had crossed the line, by placing one hand on her not plated inner thigh and the other on her armored left hip. The other Knights and travelers had their jaws hit the floor as they were deep into some Coastline Grove.

 

Without saying a word she extended her right arm forward and then did a Shulk BackSlash as the Dancer was still speaking. “I've only met a few girls like you but damn! Those are some thicc ass th- Gahh!” With the butt of her previously fondled spear, directly into the harasser's abdomen. “Agh, fucking shit, maybe this doesn't work.” Prim grumbled in pain.

 

She sunk to the ground, trying not to puke up whatever the gang had for dinner. The Ranger, Alfyn and Tressa rushed to her side in worry as she had a pitiful constitution. Hearing the Ardante Knights threaten his friends, some of the knights putting their filthy hands on them really set the Red Mage off the edge.

 

“That action wasn't fair considering she's unarmed and it was unnecessary you brute! What was the reason you inflicted violence on my friend?” Cyrus cried out, getting close enough to smell the Knight who directly injured Primrose. This took her by her last surprise and she put her lance in her left hand, her right turning into Arthur's fist.

“You already are taking us to some foreign location, behest our will! Answer my damning questions why don’t you woman!-” The Scholar continued to explain, which broke a rule again. He gasped as Tressa was teleports behind him like it was nothing personal . Her small baby hands covered his mouth to keep him from ranting like an angry Youtuber.

 

Then chaos broke out, as the Brown haired female knight from earlier had an evil look on her face. “Let me deal with this Xiomara. Oh, that's unfair isn't it ,well tough shit!” She punched Cyrus in the balls with her Infinity gauntlet. “If one shall feel pain, then all shall feel it! You fools, Communism reigns supreme!” _What the fuck are these guys being taught?!_ For some reason all the other knights became upset too.

 

Simply for being alive Alfyn was jabbed with the back some other Knights lance as they tried to catch Tressa after she decided to use Hammurabi's Code on the little bitch who could. That knight had done a dick move so the Merchant did one back, well not on a dick that is.

 

“Nope, not gonna happen!” she laughed maniacally as she had a full boosted sidestep to keep from being caught. It worked like a charm and that bitch was hopping up and down just as Cyrus was, except Tressa didn't hold back, breaking the slightly older girls codpiece. “Whoops, sorry!"

 

This was accompanied by Wil.E Coyote screaming and Wilhelm Screams. The Ranger and the Knights up front turned around in shock, the leaders questioned all together. “The hell is going on back there?! If you all don't behave, so help me God-Aelfric!” Well they weren't completely the same.

 

Acrayran and Sir Francis pointed at each other like Spiderman and the fake look alike Spiderman. “Oh, from earlier I remembered something, may I ask where you bunch are taking us? The kids always get pissy on an unexplained trip, this might calm them down.”

 

“The kids? You mean your traveling companions?” Laughed the older man before he walked towards all the commotion. “Knights! Set!” He yelled and all of his men stood still, holding whatever weapon they had in their hands straight up. Marching band flashbacks flooded through Acrayran’s head and they themselves cringed.

 

Then Sir Francis walked up to every single one of them and well to be real he gave everyone a chain mail check. By the look of some of their faces, you could tell who failed. Acrayran looked at their own team, all with stressed looks on their faces too.

 

While that was happening the green cloaked Ranger tiptoed over to Cyrus, clearly the most damaged. “Woah, did one of them give you a nut shot?” He nodded. Primrose and Alfyn looked down at their bruises and sighed.

 

“Oh, what on earth are the two of you sighing about? All you got some was a jab with a the butt of their spears to the stomach not the groin!” The scholar grabbed Alfyn's shirt and yanked in him close. “My pain. Is greater. Than. Yours!”

 

Then Francis tapped the shoulder of Acrayran. “I know you were wondering why I called you all over to our little hideout, I need to confirm somethings. One, are you a citizen of Osterra, two were you part of a 5 man group who were exploding and disrupting the energy around Victor's Hollow and last but not least are you the green clad prophet mentioned by Lady Ophilia, our Flame Bearer?”   _Good thing I planned out a fake identity if someone questioned me._

 

Suddenly they reached a stone path that lead to a large building with double doors guarded by some heavy iron barred doors. Everyone sat down at the large round table after about 2 to 3 minutes of repeated ass-kissing by Knights Ardante. The travelers now know some pretty embarrassing details about the soldiers who harmed them, like how many times a week they were caught stealing rations or with their pants down.

 

“Well, most of them don't know but my full name is Acrayran Ramos and I'm a native of Saints Bridge-. “ The Ranger was given some: ‘What in the hell type of bullshit?’ looks from the 3 and a half stooges. All of the dumbass gullible Knights ate up every word and nodded as the scribe was writing everything down, word for word. “Yeah, I know I look like I’m from either Wellspring or Marsalim but I moved to the Riverlands with my uncle and aunt after my parents had to go to a far off land for work.”

 

The black haired Knight that rejected Primrose, named Xander had something to say. “If I may, were you the same Prophet that was able to foretell events in certain peoples lives? The flame bearer said you predicted what beast would attack her party before she took up the flame and when she was searching for a young boy. Where do you receive this knowledge from?”

 

 _The reason I know all this fucking stuff is from the demos and playing the actual game, how should I phrase it?_ “For about a year or so I'd have these daydreams and dreams about 8 different people and their actions through difficult times.” the Ranger nods to their retarded path Travelers and find out they are testing out weapons and gear durability, on one another. Acrayran let's out a sigh as Sir Francis and the men at the table were unaware.

 

“Yes, and these 8 people include your special companions and Lady Ophilia's party as well? What about the power level upsurge, how did that happen?” spoke up the commander who had his hair starting to glow with yellow energy. “Was it like this?” Over his head was a big ass spirit bomb, ready to collapse like a red supergiant. _Holy shit, what in the fuck that?!_

 


	5. Kirby Super Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After dealing with Sir Francis at the Coastal hideout Team TCAP and the Ranger Acrayran along with two Knights Ardante head out to Quarry Crest. Cyrus finds a familiar face and Tressa has some stranger danger and has a new rival.

The red health theme from Pokemon Black and White started playing as everyone started to panic. The sphere was the size of the buffed booyah bomb in patch 4.2.0 and Sir Francis looked like M!Grima from Fire Emblem Heroes. “Guys!” Acrayran shouted leaping over a chair and tripping onto the floor. “Do something to stop it!”

As it was his turn Cyrus grabbed the Ranger’s gloved hand with his bare one, the Knights Ardante trying to make a defensive position around their 5 guests with some fleet formation from The Fire Emblem Three Houses First Trailer. Suddenly a 2017 Lighting Purple Ford Focus fell from the sky, the Mage standing on top of it.

“My Focus is unparalleled! Nothing will quiet the Storm!” he shouted as used Thunderbolt on another Pokemon with Volt Absorb, doing nothing. Tressa, Alfyn and Primrose were trying to use all of their brain power to think of sometime to do in their turns.

Sir.Francis’s Core just grew in size and Silver appeared saying “It’s no use!” and that just pissed everyone off as the room became hotter than Bowser’s balls. Giving up on his turn the Apothecary just pulled out a tall can of Coors Light and starting chugging like the Smash DLC Hype Train.

He tossed it to Primrose who took a swig before throwing it to Tressa who finished that shit. The Dancer then glanced at her Ranger, who was shaking their staff kinda like polaroid picture, Hey Ya playing the back of her own head. “Here Acrayran, I know you don’t like drinking so have a pomegranate!” She said shooting it like was a lay up, straight into the young teens hands. They chomped it like Pac-man.

As it was her turn the Merchant clenched her fists and laughed. Her face was starting to get red as she was not as drunk as Alfyn. Her Aura turned blue and she raised her hands.

“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!” Then Belefelgan's Bounty hit the carbon, causing buckets of leaves to fall onto the floor, everyone getting buried in the coins. “Woah, that's a lotta damage but with the power of flex seal we can repair it in no time.” she marveled drunkenly.

Full of boost power Acrayran had to trudge through the piled leaves like it was snow to reach the area below Sir Francis and pushed Tressa out the way. Like a badass they pulled their staff from the ground and watched as the Knights tilted their shields like wiimotes to let the golden wind roll like a bloody stream. Or maybe it was fighting gold, no one was sure.

The stellar shell didn't grow this turn it just started blasting the invincibility theme from Super Mario Galaxy. Since they had used Defend last turn the Ranger was given the green light. After waiting for like 2 minutes Dumb and Dumber were became restless, and drank some new Budweiser bottles, straight from the Apothecary's chilled bag.

“Lend me your stats and I will turn them into something to end this!” Acrayran slammed their staff which was glowing golden onto the ground. Then that same glow passed by the 4 coin covered travelers like smoke and combined into one, surrounded the core and suppressed it.

Then Sir Francis was released from the energy. “Blazes, that was a slug, sorry everyone wait, where did all this money come from?” He asked before smiling. The leader walked up to Cyrus and patted him on the back. Well actually he slapped it pretty hard, enough to shake the shorter man.

“By Brands Thunder, that was a mighty mini storm my man!” The leader turned to Acrayran and tugged on their sleeve. “How’d you all get so powerful, and what in Osterra was that special move you did?”

Half Cleric, half Scholar looked up from his bible and put his hand on his chin. “ Well after studying the book of Psalms, I learned how to how to use more powerful electrical magic.”

While the other Knights were either looting or shoveling money into large bags two of those helpless bastards had to took keep Primrose and Alfyn from ruining furniture and ended up frustrated as your mom last night. “Please sit down my guests. You two are are drunk.” Stated the 3rd female of the knights, her name was Bridget, she had Therions white hair.

Octopath's favorite two drunkards shook their heads, with goofy grins on their faces. “Nooooo, you're drunk.” They whined as they giggled and laughed. This pissed off Patrick, the other knight.

“You need to sit down, be humble,” yelled the other guardian before Alfyn was getting a little too excited. “BITCH SIT DOWN, BE HUMBLE, BITCH SIT DOWN!” The other Knight had pulled up two chairs for the drunk to cool off in but they weren't complying. “Lord Acrayran come get your stupid ass- I mean frustrating companions!”

With fury the Ranger yanked their belt off and teleported behind the drunks. “ Yare yare daze. Bakada Omae Wa mo shindeiru!” Acrayran had inhaled the belt and became whip Kirby, spamming every attack combo.

While the younger teen was paddling the shit outta the perverted idiotic team members with their belt, Tressa was being praised by Sir Francis. Well she was more being harassed, by her impatience . “Don't worry too blue Lass, our scribe is almost finished.”

Left alone with a tried Cyrus, the Merchant gazed over at her leader and beckoned them over. Acrayran looked up with blood red rage in their eyes, and ignored the request. “ Eh, worry blue about what? And, what does blue mean, do I look worried or anything?” She asked as her older friends passed out for a second.

“Hmm I guess you wouldn't have anything to get blue per say but doesn't Befelgan use the patrons sexual energy, or potential…. Or was it something else?” Francis put squeezing the girls shoulders and that woke Cyrus up.

“Doesn't it have to deal with rockets or jet fuel melting steel beams?” Tressa stared at the man with such confusion and used the force to grab and put on her huge ass backpack, moving out the way to prevent the chair from getting smashed.

She looked down and waved over to the Scholar. “My name is Cilan and its evaluation time professor!” He took out a magnifying glass and had it front of the younger traveler's fists, they were near her shorts.

“Well unfortunately, my good gentleman I have some news to report.” Tressa closed her eyes and turned her head towards Primrose and Alfyn getting their spanking. “Although she may be a dog at heart and constantly at the space coast, I have not seen this elusive rocket take off.” Cyrus laughed, using his hands to make a ruler and shrinking it down.

The Merchant pulled out a bunch of SpaceX model rockets and smiled. “Yeah Befelgan grants us funding power not fucking power, just like NASA, we didn't run outta funding tho.”

Sir Francis flew to the nearest wall and slammed his head against it till he bled. While he was doing this he glanced back at the travelers. “Go, pretend this didn't happen, it appears I haven't had my daily dose of mental shock.” Silently the two of them agreed and then Sir Francis was hauled off to another room.

By the time this had finished the scribe was finished and tapped Acrayran with the scroll like 5 times before they turns around. “I have done everything with your paperwork as a Ranger Milord, you and your party may be on your way.”

  
The Ranger put back on their belt and picked up their 2 travelers, worn out beyond science. For some reason the Commie and the Knight with the carving knife were at the doors. “Oh what is it now, do you need to check these knuckleheads to see if they stole anything or whatever?” Spat the green cloaked teen, Cyrus hiding behind their back, trying to use Harden to protect his dick. Both Knights shook their heads, opening the big ass star doors from Kirby.

“We've been assigned to accompany you 5 to Quarry Crest.” Said the female knight bowing her head. “And just before you fools ask, my name is Ivana.”

When he got his chance, the other knight moved close to the travelers and showed the Dancer-Huntress his carving knife and smiled as she read the handle. “I was afraid House Azelhart had fallen while we were away, I am Morningglory Azelhart, your cousin Primrose.”

“Lies, lies, lies, LIES! They're all lies!” She shot back the Playstation 2 starting theme ring in her head. The Dancer had turned into Berkut when upset and was taking it out on a new victim. “I knew Mother had siblings, but Father never mentioned anyone besides his parents!”

But Morningglory was handling the rage like a champ as his cousin pressed on.“I had no knowledge on my aunt's and uncles so I translates to not knowing you Morningglory.”

The taller Azelhart shook his head. “Your father disowned my mother as a sister after she was raped and had a child out wedlock. The damn bastard never contacted her again even after she married a lesser noble and had more children.” He said as the other travelers were being nosy.

Primrose was just quiet so the conversation ended just as a flock of Angry Birds flew out of some basically dead tree. The travelers had to pull out their gear and weapons.

Alfyn walked up to one of them slowly. “Ah shit, here we go again.” Then he beat the hell out of them with the crew. Since they didn't have thief as a subclass they ventured underneath the pass into The Great Cave Offensive, the monsters were apparently having a rave solo free exp and level ups.

Ivana and Mo Double G were not worried till as the team passed the shrine of Thieves. “Hold a moment, something or someone is approaching.” They demanded, standing in front of the Ranger quickly, knocking over Primrose and Cyrus in the process.

“Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road, I'm gonna ride till I can't no more. I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road, I'm gonna ride till I can't no more! I've got the horses in the- what are in tarnation?” Two cowboy looking men had horses pulling some empty cart and had to brake before running over everyone else like this was GTA.

Acrayran somehow managed to convince the yeehaws to let them defense pair up like this was Fates and get a quick trip up the cliff. “Don't worry y'all hearts any bit, we fellas jus’ want'n to ‘ead down to them there mines to play minesweeper.” The red wearing one said “Ur, was it Minecraft or was it Apex-”

As soon as they made it QuarryCrest their horses were spooked by the giant bar that said Cyrus and Tress had business here and threw everyone out. “Team Rocket’s blasting off again!” Screamed Tressa and Cyrus soaring like this was Mario 64, while the other travelers and knights crashed onto the floor like this was Kirby Super Star. “Wooooobefffet!” the Townspeople looked at everyone and then went back to their shit.

While Cyrus opened his eyes he was on the roof of someone's home. The door to the house opened and someone was looking at him. “ Professor of the Atlasdam Academy, Cyrus Albright?” The Scholar was asked from a familiar voice.

“Yes. Odette, former Professor of the Prestigious Royal Academy located in Atlasdam of the Flatlands?”

“No shit sherlock, ya fucking dumbass. Now get off my roof, however you got on!”

He held his aching ribs and crawled forward. “My sincerest apologies Odette but I've McFallen and I can't get up!”

Acrayran knew where they were going and lead the Knights Ardante to the house. Odette looked at them suspiciously, then pointed up towards her roof.

She stared down the Ranger and crossed her arms. “Is this clown with you all? If so I feel sorry for you, Cyrus is a daft punk.” The house next door, slowly crept open right before the teen could start their sentence, the figure preparing something.

“Yeah he is fortunately, I always need a red mage in an RPG, so I decided to bring him along.” Acrayran groveled as a lightbulb went off on Ivana's head. “Well technically, uhh anyone can be a Red Mage but not on this save state, this game is so linear.” The golden eyed teen trailed off before realization hit .

Buried in Ivana's forehead were several pieces of glass, blood leaking out slowly. Everyone else panicked, looking left and right in this chaos Cyrus fell off the ladder that was on side of the house and landed hard onto his former colleague. “Aw, I'm your preferred Red Mage? I am truly flattered my dear Ranger, but RPG?”

In pain Odette groaned as she pushed her former colleague off her body, her bones rattled. “You fucking brickhead, get up or you'll have to face my boot up your ass, unless you like that shit!”

Ivana pulled the glass out of her forehead and had eagle eyes on the window of the house next door just as her fellow Ardante. With worry Acrayran and Cyrus watched as Odette dodged another bulb and Morning Glory had one shatter onto his armor plated arm.The figure at the door, a woman took out a machine gun and unloaded a crate into the chamber. The crate was full of fucking deformed proto lightbulbs, some filled with geodes to the brim, others with thick glass.

The former Professor brushed off her dark cloak and faced her guests. “Thanks bud, the glassmaker has staying late in the shop for me so his wife is a little fucking pissed at me, isn’t getting her daily dose of dick.” Morning G blushed as she winked at him and then he started looking down at his bags.

Meanwhile on the other side of town Alfyn and Primrose followed Tressa to where she landed. It next to an illegal fruit stand. “Woah, ya alright Tress?” asked the Medic, actually prepared to do his job. The Heavy/Scout of the team nodded her head. Team Fortress 2 was never this slow.

“Grrr, you're ruining my sales again Tressa Colzione!” Barked the lady running the stand. The mentioned Merchant stared at the mysterious woman. Primrose and Alfyn were more interested in the faulty pricing for the produce. “Don't think I'll forgive you so easily for what plagues my body after my run in with you, it still throbs and burns to this very moment.”

Tressa rubbed her chin and adjusted her hat. “Wait a minute, who are you? Do I know you from somewhere? Goldshore? Stillsnow? Did I sell you a bad tampon or something like that -” the stand owner slammed her hands against the makeshift counter to shut the younger woman up.

Then she put an arm over the parting and pulled Tressa over and kissed her. Not on the cheek like the Europeans but on the mouth. Alfyn and Primrose gasped loudly and when the other Merchant let go, their friend fell backwards onto the floor. Her face was completely red and lips on actual fire.

The Apothecary kneels down to use his Ice powers on his hands, then on turned it into lip balm. “Oh dear, guess I accidentally used my power on you baby, I hope you'll forgive me cutie.” The psycho-lesbian started before Tressa stood up again, this time flustered at the things Prim whispered in her ears.

“Lady my friend asked you a question, and if you don't answer we are gonna report you to the FDA.” Demanded Alf, putting on a ‘I'm going to speak to the manager hairstyle’. He wasn't aware of what his female adventurers were saying and a part of him was fine with that, he was focused on the unfamiliar Merchant.

She smiled and ruffled her white hair, gazing down at the young woman she stole a kiss from. “My name is Esmeralda and try not to forget it darlings, bye now.” then she vanished like Thanos had snapped and she was part of the 50 percent.

The 3 travelers shook their heads and decided to play Xenoblade Chronicles 2, following red footprints along the dirt and sand to reach the upper part of town, towards Acrayran whom they have a tracker on. On the way there they past another young merchant, this time with a legal sale.

He had a boombox right beside his carpet, blasting ‘Whales and Beetles’ by Botanic Sage. When Tressa glanced at his wares he turned the volume down to say something. “Only stop by if you make a better sale than Ali's rocks green pea, don't even bother trying! You're ten years too young!” Then he continued to jam out with his customers, some eeiery gaze placed on him from afar.

“Green pea, who the hell is that?” Asked Alfyn as they were out of Ali's range. “No one in our party is a peapod, I've made sure multiple times because some people to hide things from their Apothecary.”

“What? What do you mean peapod, and who is hiding things from you? I know for sure it wasn't me-” started Primrose trying to be seductive, before she cringed at the their boots crunching on debris.

Tressa, Alfyn and Primrose had followed the trail to Odette’s door, noticing the fallen shingles from the impact of Cyrus’s landing. The glass shards on the floor were perplexing as the leer from the blinds of the house next door. Terrified they all bang banged on the door till Ivana and Morning Glory noticed them, outside the Love Shack.

The Merchant-Warrior dusted off her shoulders and gave her friend a grin, just as the door opened, Acrayran at the entrance. “About earlier I'm not sure who that is but, I don't know whose ten years too young either. This Ali fella will soon know our wares quality are much better than his, I just need to go mining.”

Her Ranger was not as amused as the other travelers and planted a foot down. “In what mineshaft? Never mind, come on Tressa, we don't have all day for you make up your mind, just get in here!” They yanked the 3 later party members inside, Morning G closing the door.

 


	6. Super Smash Bros Ultimate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang finally gets to sit down and talk about the disappearances before another set of them happens in Quarry Crest again, this time involving one of their own.

 

"So you're here in our little mining town to figure out the whereabouts of the Far Reaches of Hell eh Cyrus?” Asked Odette, the evening purple glow illuminating her face from the kitchen.

The Scholar nodded his head as he was unpacking his bags. “Yeah I understand Headmaster Yvon wanted a bit of information on the tome and I came to investigate the area as request of Acrayran.” His Ranger had convinced his former Colleague to let everyone stay the night in her little house, but they would be her errand boys and girls since the inn was full.

Primrose's cousin and Ivana were helping cook dinner over by the stove top powered by Fire Magic and Odette was boiling something in a kettle. She took out some cups from her pantry and poured whatever it was into all 6 cups. “Hmmm, what does this little one know about untranslated books on the mind boggling topic of necromancy and dark arts?” The oldest woman sipped from the biggest cup and then stirred it slightly before adding something from a jar.

Acrayran, Alfyn, Tressa and Prim were sweeping and dusting the floor as they had finished chopping up firewood outside. Next to Cyrus the tray with all the mugs were placed and then without warning Odette used Ice on the entire tray, engulfing the surrounding furniture in ice. “Lady Odette, Sir Albright was sitting there, did you attempt to harm him!?” asked one of the knights.

Cyrus was okay, just chilly after he ran his flames through the sheet of ice engulfing him. “Nah its fine, here’s -”She broke a mug off the tray and gave it to her fellow scholar. He stared at in confusion as she jabbed a hot spoon into the ice twice, melting it. “The mutherfucking!”

The woman slammed the the rest of the cups ice away again in two strikes. “Tea! Everyone get your asses in here, it’s dinner time bitches!” Odette called to her hardworking guests since dinner was in fact ready.

Worn out, the whole party complied and combined all the tables into a makeshift dinner table. The Ranger pulled their filthy gloves off and pulled up a chair next to Ivana and Alfyn.“You must not be aware of what caliber Acrayran Ramos is my dear.” Defended Cyrus as he pulled out a set Belmont Side B and Neutral B Axes. Acrayran's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets and had to be held down.

The homeowner tilted her head sideways and finished chewing. “Wow, you’ve grown some balls last time I talked to you, acting all cocky before I can even make a point Professor.” Odette then took out Joker's gun then pointed it at the Ranger, firing a round.

“So Acrayran, you're knowledgeable on the disappearances that have been happening in this town as of late? Cyrus has told me you are an outsider, from a land that is distant from Osterra and her cities.” The female blond grinned as the youngest person managed to block the shots with their own move ;Zelda's Down B, the Knight.

Odette tried to wait for them to slip up for an easy counter. “Yeah, but do you know who is causing them and where they are staked out? Do you assume I don’t know things you don’t just cause I’m not a Scholar or something?” shot back the black haired teen, realizing they have facts they can dangle over the adult’s head.

Before the woman could answer the Ranger added some more questions with a quick Side B of Fire. “Do you wanna know what an RPG is, what technology they run on and how it can project audio and visual content at the same time?” That was Acrayran using their final smash, the Triforce of Wisdom on her.

This broke the minds of both Professors and they remained silent for the whole dinner. Primrose waved a hand across Cyrus’s face and he didn’t move a muscle. “Simultaneous output of b-both senses from a device? What the blazes?” Hot steam came out of his ears like he was a coal train and Odette was just 3 stocked instantly.

The Dancer turned to Acrayran and her friends in dismay. “That’s how easily you can shut them up? Please, teach us how to do how to do that kid, I need some leg up on Cyrus, I've only faster and agile than him. ”

The Ranger smiled and continued eating as their Knights Ardante left to go for night watch. “Nah, I’ma just go down to the baths for a quickie.” Primrose then winked at Ivana as she held her clothes and toiletries. “Would you like to come with cutie, I could tell you need a bit of Sunland TLC.”

With that bold move the Knight turned bright red and her friend shot his cousin a look. Excited at the chance Odette quickly got up to take up that offer. But was stopped by Tressa, “You should avoid following Primrose less unfortunate events happen. She's in need of some alone time, let's wait for tomorrow night.”

Hours later as it was pitch black outside and most of the travelers were fast asleep. Odette and Acrayran slept in her modest bed, the CA boys were forced to share a cot as Morning Glory wouldn’t allow Primrose to sleep with either mages or on the floor, so she was with Tressa on the couch.

All of them were too tired to try anything stupid so that was a blessing. The Ranger could finally get some shut eye without having to worry about one of their travelers acting a fool, well not on their watch anyway. They didn't need to have the teen awake to create trouble.

“Tressa.” Whispered Alfyn as he rubbed then shook his hands onto her shoulder and sides before it worked.The young woman slowly opened her green eyes, wincing at the light from the oil lantern. “Come with me, please.”

She leaned forward, confusion on her face as the hardwood floor met her feet. “What, where do you want me to go Alf? It's like 1 or 2 in the morning dude.” The Merchant asked back quietly, to make sure her bedmate would not wake.

Her older friend leaned down to her ear glancing side by side with worry. “I have to pee, can you come with me bud? The toilets are apparently in the full inn thats somewhere near the mines and-” Alfyn stopped to pause, blushing like a silly schoolgirl “I didn't want to wake up Cy or P-prim since they seemed the most deep in-”

Tressa pushed him away, snatching the lantern out of his hands. “Jeez man I get it, I get it!” She had a bright flush lit up on her face as they snuck out the house. Once they were in the brisk canyon air the Merchant let him have it. “Don't whisper in my ear with that tone of voice Alfyn, it's bothering me a bit.” Dammit Greg Chun, you play too many roles!

He snapped his head to the girl as he held onto an unused hatchet and peered down, a flush also along his face. So she’s perv ,I forgot she could actually can get turned on by stuff like I can . Damn I'm fucking impressive, holy shit. “By golly I'm terribly sorry about that, at least we can feel uncomfortable together, I'm just worried.” The man glanced up at the quarter moon, a cold feeling crept down his spine.

“About what, not finding them without me and having to resort to plan B?” Smiled Tressa as an idea came to her. “Or maybe our trusty Apothecary is afraid of pissing himself, thinking he can hold it till morning?” When he is desperate, he'll be weak to my teasing, just like when they teased me earlier!

Alfyn almost jumped out of his skin as they walked down the creaky wooden stairs that lead further into town. “O-of course not Tressa, you perv!” He nearly swung at a stray dog that was spooked by their footsteps. “It's the disappearances, that's all nothing more, nothing less.” The much taller traveler held the axe in one hand, the other gripping onto his nightshirt bottom.

Tressa held the oil flame farther away and looked equally nervous as her partner, trying to focus on two many things at once. “Y-yeah sure I'm the perv, sure I'm the perv. Keep telling yourself that bud.”

They past by the armory and bar by the stairs and as soon as they took a single step up another section of stairs there was a blood curdling scream. “Shut the fuck up with all that yelling! Some people are trying to get some sleep!” Shouted the barkeep from his window, the general shop owner turned on his lights and started yelling back.

A mysterious red light grew brighter, despite being out view of the travelers. “The crap was that all about? Who was the one who screaming, it sounded like 4 or so people? Wanna check it out later maybe?” Asked Alf, Tress nodded her head after picking up a coin pouch someone had left by some metal bins.

After about 4 or so minutes the pair reached something that resembled the back of the inn, where the public restroom was. The men’s and women's wasn't exactly separated by doors but Alfyn didn't have as much patience as Tressa and since he bursting, scuffling away to relieve himself. “Wow, I guess he wasn't lying. Might as well go too now that I'm here.” She realized, anime sweat drops down her face.

The man almost jumped out of his pants when suddenly someone else grabbed onto his boots. “!” Panicked the Apothecary, his hands yanking down his britches and snaking away. The figure just lay on the ground and waited for the man to return. For some reason the Metal Gear Solid theme could be heard.

It was Morning Glory, blood stains and bruises all over his body. “Uh, Mister Greengrass?” He coughed as he tried to crawl further up. “Its me sir, Morning Glory Azelhart your Knight Ardante Escort!!”

Now that he had emptied his bladder the Dirty Blonde had returned, his left boot missing. “Aw shucks you scared me half to death there Morning G, the hell happened to you?” His concern took over as he ignored his wardrobe malfunction. Alfyn didn't have his pants up, just his old-timey boxers, tightly hugging his waist.

While Primrose's cousin explained his situation, ominous cackling could be heard, growing louder with each foot step of someone on the other side. “We need to go back to Lady Odette's house and wait for daybreak, then he can't harm us.” He begged to the Apothecary as he winced with pain.

Tressa had finished up as well and walked up with the Lantern to see her friend leaning over the other man, clearly stressed out. Sweat drops and a curious grin quickly appeared on the girl's face. “Ok so now you manage to seduce men with your body this time Alf?”

“No, its Morning Glory and he's hurt, dumbass.” Shot back the Apothecary as he pulled up his pants, trying not to flash his female companion. “Oh, sorry bout that, you didn't need to see my drawers too.”

“And Miss Colzione, Mister Greengrass wasn't trying to g-get that type of attention from me, I’ve been badly injured can’t you see he’s trying his best.”

“Shoot, I can’t even use my skills without my tool box, Gosh Dangit Alf, can’t go anywhere with that heavy old thang.” groaned Alfyn as he didn’t have enough SP to use First Aid and had no brewing items on him.

Tressa cocked her head to the side. “Well let’s try to ask for some help or we could just -”Then she took a double take and dropped the lantern onto the ground, it turning into a cardboard box. “ Wait behind you guys, is that the-

Fear and surprise was a heavy weight in the vast room. Two blood red lights were being reflected into the mirrors, from behind the travelers. “GET OUTTA MY INN YOU DAMN TROUBLEMAKERS!” The figure demanded when he was finally in sight. “YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A ROOM BOOKED HERE I’VE NEVER SEEN YA, COME BACK LATER!”

With split second thinking Alfyn and Tressa grabbed their Knight off the floor and scampered the hell away. “He's gotta be the one behind this, he's gotta!” Repeated the Apothecary, Last Stand coming in handy as they ran all across town.

His Merchant was more worried about Morning Glory, as he was slipping in and out of consciousness. “ MG is running low on stamina, and I just had to drop the lamp, fuck! The hell are we gonna do if that was the boss dude, would Acrayran kill us for doing something like this without Cyrus!?”

Back at the Full Inn the innkeeper shook his head as he lit torch fixtures up atop a wall. “Oh, and they left this strange lantern behind, why is it completely made out of this hard paper like material? Guess they'll come begging for it on the morrow.” The employee next to him shrugged and kept handing him the torches.

When Alfyn and Tressa finally managed to calm down in front of Odette's house Morning Glory was on full alert. “Ivana, that stubborn- augh- she was fast when that damn - hhrr- struck us. I managed to chase them all the way here but then -gahh then it-” One of the travelers opened up the front door and tripped on a pot trying to lay the injured Knight down.

“Shh, shh save it for later pal, I've gotta get you stitched and patched up before the others wake.” The Apothecary whispered as Tressa pulled out the Apothecary Kit, from underneath piles of blankets and clothes. Morning G was soon stable, sleeping softly like everyone else.

  
Many hours later Acrayran was woken up by their bedmate. “Well good morning sweetie, I hope you had a great night's rest, cause I sure did!” The Scholar smiled and ruffled the drowsy teens hair. “ I've missed having such intimate moments with others I may have gone overboard. Did I crush you or somethin’, what's with that glare?”

The Ranger pushed her hand away, a frustrated look in their eyes as they stared at their Travelers. “No, I didn't Odette. It's mainly because someone got up in the middle of the fucking night for whatever.” Alfyn and Primrose were also up, still in bed clothes. “Which one of you was it?”

Prim blushed as she turned around from unpacking some supplies. “It was me, I was the one who up making noise-”

“No it wasn't, someone left the house and broke that pot by the door trying enter. It wouldn't be you, you are plenty graceful.” Shot back the homeowner, while she walked towards Alf, who was up using First Aid. “Something must have happened, spill it bud.”

Acrayran picked up pieces of the pot and handed them to the Scholar while their Apothecary sweated bullet bills. Morning G also sweated but that was cause he was hot.

Knowing he was the one the request was directed to Alfyn bullshitted “Spill what Miss Odette?”, then continued cleaning the older man's wounds. “I've noticed I haven't done anything wrong and yet-”

The older woman slammed a hand on his shoulder and looked down. “The tea dumbass, all your information from last night. I know at least two of you left, and it was more than just Morning G and Ivana.” Then her eyes widened at the lack of another person in her house.

“Speaking of Ivana, that annoying hothead, where is she? Did she, did she vanish? Nah she must've taken by in one of those disappearances, but how? Weren't you with her Morning Glory, care explain to us what unfolded?” 


	7. Minecraft Education Editon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang gets a little sidetracked with some night time shenanigans that need plenty of explaining by the likes of Tressa, Alfyn and Morning Glory. they finally go down into the sewers to stop the disappearances then figure out where Ivana is and deal with whatever is causing the disappearances in the first place.

The dark brown haired Knight rubbed the back of his neck and tried to keep his cool, failing as Primrose caught his eye. “Man, what type mess did I get into? See, we were coming home from our night watch and we stopped at the down by the lower streets to check on the place the cowboys were staying.” 

 

“Cowboys?” Pondered Alfyn as he bundled the messed up bandages in one roll. “You mean the fellas who gave us a ride here to Quarry Crest, didn't they want to go mining for ore or something?” 

 

“Yeah and the place they were staying at was the workshop where this the Glassmaker was finishing up. Then suddenly a red lightning bolt hit the outside while they were sleeping when a mysterious figure approached at the door and tore it down in an explosion.” Morning Glory continued as Cyrus finished the notes he was reading from Odette's desk.

 

“The figure was this tall green speckled monster, with red beady eyes and four stubby legs. The darn  thing latched onto the Glassmaker as he was getting ready to let us take him home.” The Azelhart noticed the fear in his Ranger's face. “What is it, does that monster sound familiar to you or something Lord Ramos?” 

 

Being put on the spot Acrayran gazed to the right and left, Cyrus who talking to Odette and then to Primrose was laughing at whatever Alfyn was telling her. “Well shoot, that description seems to match perfectly with this thing called a Creeper from Minecraft, oh and just Acrayran is fine,  no need for such formalities.” The young uneducated 20 travelers somethings didn't pay any mind to that detail and kept their own conversation.

 

On the other hand the Scholars were excited at the mention of a foreign creature. “A Creeper? And what biome can they be found? Could it be that Minecraft location you spoke of?” questioned Cyrus grabbing the shoulders of his companion, catching Acrayran off guard again.

 

“What makes them just fucking self destruct in an explosion like that and what the hell is their in body composition? Wait a sec, is Minecraft one of those things from that machine with audio and visual shit?” jumped the former Professor from near her dresser, as she was gazing at a list on the side..

 

“Yes?” Acrayran wished they didn't say as then the two nerds forced them to explain everything. Odette and Cyrus kept going on and on, making the teen overwhelmed.

 

“Don't forget I'm not the one who fought it, it was Morning Glory and Ivana! It wasn't me! Come on let's go outside to investigate!” Their 17 year old Ranger cried as they broke free of the combos. They had almost lost a stock with that whole skirmish and had to try and steal one back from the others.

 

Primrose and her cousin both shook their heads, both for different reasons. “Don't we need to wake up Miss Colzione first?” Asked the man, struggling to get up on his own. “She was critical in assisting me and I wouldn’t leave her hanging before we go.” 

 

The woman on the other hand smiled and left his side, once she knew he was alright. “What you should be saying is don't we need to rescue my girlfriend, I promised her I'd be back for her." then she looked down at Tressa, oblivious to the whole conversation. “Damn, she really is knocked out. Oh, I know how to wake her up!” The Dancer grabbed Alfyn and brought him over to the couch.

 

Morning Glory just sat there shocked, hands in the air. "But, but Ivana's not my, she's not my girlfriend Primrose." The Knight's cries were unanswered by his cousin. "You've gotta understand, you've just gotta!"

 

"Don't worry that's what she always like that bud." Gently whispered Alf as he rubbed his head. "She convinced Tressa that I was a boyfriend to a friend of ours, who is also on a journey."

 

They talked it over for a moment and then the younger one nodded his head. The Apothecary filled a pail with well water about less than half way and dumped it on the sleeping traveler, who just tossed and turned. 

 

“Well, okay if that doesn't work then slap her.” Assisted Odette, rubbing her hands together. Acrayran and Cyrus just sat there as confused as their Knight, wondering if this was a joke. 

 

Atlasdam's former Professor then used motherfucking Wake Up Slap, practically with the strength of 10,000 Solgaleos, the shock wave sending her backwards. Morning G's cousin then just snuck a sip of cranberry wine from one of her own little flasks. 

 

_ Alright then, isn't it a bit too early for this kinda stuff?  _ Wondered Odette as she tightened her and Morning Glory's bootstrings. The Knight still needed a bit of help to get back into the groove of things so he didn't fuss.

 

 “Good bye, we'll be out obtaining some more clues on the disappearances matter.” Started Cyrus with a growing scowl, a blush hidden behind one of his journals. “I don't require this much extra assistance for scrutinizing some townsfolk.”  His slightly older friend helped the Knight Ardante stand up and then they all left the house. 

 

Prim and Alf rubbed their chins, the Dancer taking more sips as she held her head down. 

“Ugh this is boring, maybe I should try to make things more interesting.”

 

The Apothecary widened his eyes at the sight of what was in her hands. “Where did you get that flask, out of Odette’s cupboard? Why?” 

 

“I had that nightmare again, where it's not just my father who dies by a blade of the Crow men but they find and kill me too! This is too much pain, I want to forget it so bad, so I drink!” The dancer suddenly cried as bright purple energy shot out of her. “Aaaaahhhhh!” Pain struck everyone on the team and they fell to their knees.  _ Ugh, the grace of Sealtigce wasn't to my favor. _

 

Alfyn held his chest and watched out of fear as an angry Tressa bolted upright out of sleep and activated her stand Leaves of Justice into the air. It searched for something but then went straight back towards the girl and then some explaining needed to be done. "Prim what the fuck, are you outta your mind!? Look!"

 

Even Cyrus and Acrayran felt the Kizna effect, who were asking around town for clues with their Knight and older friend. The two travelers doubled over onto the items there were holding, this caused the person they were scrutinizing to just shuffle away. They had just finished shopping in the local store.

 

“What the hell was that, it feels like I've been slammed by some shit!” Cried the teen, Morning Glory rushing to their side. “MG, I'm, gonna need you to take over from here, get your cousin and-.” 

 

After his Ranger fainted he hoisted them on his shoulder, stacking their box under his bag on the floor. To carry all of this the Azelhart was gonna have to drink a strength potion 2, one that his Apothecary made. Well he actually found it last night so it probably isn't too trustworthy.

 

Nearby a slightly worried Odette walked over to Cyrus and extended her hand. “Could it be Alfyn and the others doing, maybe those knuckleheads want your asses to come home? Do you know Cy, your the one who lives with them.” She pondered as she picked up his paperwork. 

 

“I have come up with no hypothesis to be honest, it may be possible Acrayran knows.” The Scholar shrugged. “It looks like they couldn't quite handle that sudden damage.” The Ranger had passed out, like a fucking pussy ass bitch. Soon they all made it back to Odette's house for breakfast and to put their plan in action.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

As planned by Tressa all 6 six of the idiots were now deep in an ore mine, waiting for the day shift to end. Cyrus figured out that whatever was doing the disappearances only can be found after 4 PM or in the evening till about 2AM or late night. It's easier to track down the people if the team can find the place where the red light is coming from, which is usually overlooked. 

 

 “So dumbass you were banking on that reckless move to wake me up, regardless of any consequences?" Growled Tressa rapping Primrose across her helmet, causing it to rattle. 

 

The Dancer leaned backwards to avoid the rest of blows and bumped into Acrayran. "Uhh well yeah, it worked didn't so don't get your panties in a bind Tress." Her Ranger had ventured into a drop off with skeleton spawner and was in danger, but Alf chucked his axe into the thing to get it to stop while Acrayran handled the mobs.

 

"But you of all people, would - chk- forget it." The Merchant went back to searching for another mineral filled cavern branch. "I shouldn't bother asking someone who drinks so early in the morning, come on Professors." Both Cyrus and Odette were using their magic to keep the creatures at bay and inspect element. The bunch were only finding coal and iron before they decided to use their heads.

 

Primrose gasped as she held back her tears. "Well then, I see how it is  **bitch.** That was kinda low for someone who is quite eager to pop open a cold one yourself, it was a stunt right Morning G?" 

 

The Knight placed down the pales of rocks he was carrying,  "Think about this Prim, your little stunt, it brought up a problem with you and my other lieges." as of late Morning Glory was growing bolder against his cousin's antics. "I can tell normally only four of you are supposed to be affected by your guy's ally skills but this time it was all 5, together. " 

 

As their comrades argued Ranger smiled as the sound of a chime echoed throughout the mine, signaling the beginning of evening. "Alright let's get show on the road there was a whole song about not mining at night so we better hassle, Ivana is waiting on us and we better not leave her hanging!" 

 

Now deep in the sewers as instructed Cyrus lead Acrayran, Alfyn, Tressa and Primrose with her cousin. They decided to leave Odette near the front of the sewer to keep watch. “Aw, I wanted to come with but go ahead, have fun kids.” She complained with a wave.

 

Earlier the Scholar insisted she was as strong as her colleague but he was even more adamant. “If you join us in this endeavor we'll lose the element of surprise if you go in guns blazing with your power.”  _ Personally, I don't think we need to bring too many people down here, it'll be chaotic and endanger us all. _

 

“Alright guys there might be some strong enemies here but-” started the Ranger just as they got an encounter. "Aw for Pete's sake, another zombie horde?" For some reason music from Paper Mario the Thousand Year Door started playing but it didn't stop the travelers. 

 

Since Primrose was the fastest she managed to buff Tressa's Defense. This was a set up for Incite which would draw the attention away from the two weak members and Alfyn . "Wait do these enemies use physical or magical attacks-" Before Cyrus or Acrayran could speak a giant gust of wind slammed into the travelers. 

 

All of the units screamed as they fell backwards. They all looked up and saw that it was a Ghast but instead of shooting fire it shot wind. "Alright, what the fuck is this shit, how is that thing faster than you two?" Cried Primrose as she was looking through her inventory for some blocks for cover. Alfyn rubbed his head as he didn't take much damage. 

 

Cyrus was pretty fine too, as the mage has actual resistance put into his armor. "Don't worry we should just fly through this bunch." The man said as he used Analyze. "Let's see what this spirit is weak to." 

 

After that battle and about 4 more they finally reached the open notebook. All the group signed their names and fully healed, as demanded by Acrayran. The Ranger was worried about the story getting messed up because of the unprecedented characters but Cyrus calmed them down with promised to keep his focus unparalleled.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Cyrus looked at the sight of blood all over the floor and jumped backwards into the rest of his party. "Aaaayah, what in the blazes?!" They all collided with another and fell onto the cold floor, startling a figure propped against a wall. Before they could argue with one another the person spoke up.

"Oh thank goodness, I was wondering when y'all were gonna come find me." Chimed Ivana from a corner, bring relief to the party but then they gazed down. The Knight had bandaged both of her arms and wasn't wearing anything below the waist. "Oh yeah, I sprained my arms and have trouble moving them so I decided to remove things that would get in the way."   


 The guys besides Morning Glory looked somewhere else, turning beet red. "Wait that cur did this to you?! Don't worry guys I'll take her back to Madam Odette's house, where she can recover." Then the Male Knight reached down and pulled up Female Knights trousers. " Honestly what was I going to do without you Ivana? I can't handle this lot by myself."   


Primrose looked at them and winked suggestively. "Have fun you two, but not too much. You're both hurt and Lady Odette will be home to take care of you, unless you are into something like that!"   


"What, what are you talking about? You keep bringing up false claims about our relationship, Ivana and I. We are not dating, I need to make sure she can still use her arms and isn't sick." Scowled the taller Azelhart as his colleague started drifting off.

After the Knights left red light brightly gleaned from in front of Cyrus. The figure projecting it was some cloaked Herobrine looking man. "That one wasn't good enough for my blood stones, I need one more." Then he pointed to the Ranger and took out his scythe. "But you'll do fine my dear, just get rid of all these extras."   


The Scholar looked at his crew and then back towards a cell where bodies were laying. "So this is where the townspeople have vanished to, I'm sorry but in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit we are gonna have end your reign of terror."    


The travelers proceeded to beat the living shit out the blood stones guy and somehow survive.   
  
  
  
  



End file.
